Enneagram Type 6 Blueprint: The Doubting LoyalDec 20, 2021
(By Eldad Ben-Moshe)
❤ Hey there Better Lifers!
Welcome to another episode of The Enneagram Blueprint.
And this time we're going to talk about type six, The Doubting Loyal.
But before we go there, a few words as usual, just in case you haven't seen previous episodes.
We started this series with an introduction video that is all about what is the Enneagram and why is it so successful in making people's lives so much better?
So I highly advise watching this video if you haven't seen it yet. It will give you a lot of the fundamentals that you might want to have when you watch this video.
You can watch this video without that, especially if you have some experience with the Enneagram. It will be beneficial either way. So that's one thing.
The other thing is the second video I've done in this series, the video about type one.
It has some general comments about finding your type and about the names of the types and so on and so on. That's in about the first five minutes or so of the video about type one. So I also recommend watching that one.
So far in the Enneagram blueprint series, we had the introduction video - what is the enneagram; type one - the critical reformer; type two - the proud helper; type three - the self-promoting achiever; type four - the dramatic creative; and type five - the detached intellectual.
This is not my full online course or non-online, in-person course. This is a taste. So there's only so much I can dive into - even in an online course there's only so much I can dive into.
But the important thing is that here, in the Enneagram Blueprint series, I'm going to give you the essential blueprint of the nine types. It will be a quick description of each type, and it is going to be beautiful.
And now, without further ado, it's time to dive into Type Six of the Enneagram, The Doubting Loyal.
Type 6's Blueprint: The Doubting Loyal.
1. Type 6's core belief.
Now, as always, I start with the core belief.
Because that's where the entire personality or defense mechanism starts from. It's all designed to serve that core belief that we carry around.
And we have that core belief, and it's either conscious or unconscious, depending on how much work you've done and how much introspection you've done in your life, but it's there.
And for type six, the core belief is that the world and people are unpredictable, unreliable, and dangerous.
Things are often likely to go wrong, and people are often likely to disappoint you.
And therefore I must do everything I can to make sure I have the support and safety that I need.
Now, imagine walking around with the world with that belief.
Thankfully or unthankfully, depending on how you want to look at it - like other types, for most of us this is unconscious (again, until you do some work).
So you don't necessarily walk around the world knowing that this is your belief. But you do experience the results of that belief.
2. Type 6's core need.
So the first two immediate results of that belief are our core need and our core fear.
Because if that's my core belief, my core need would be security, guidance, and support. Because I can't find it in the world. And the world is dangerous. So I have to find it.
It's not given to me. I have to look for it. And I have to make sure I have it.
If the world is unpredictable and unreliable and people are unpredictable and unreliable, I need to get it. I need to receive it somehow. I need to find it.
I need to find that security, that guidance, that support.
3. Type 6's core fear.
And the core fear would be to be unsafe and without support or guidance. To be unprepared and unable to cope with such a world.
That's my core fear as a six. Again, mostly unconscious. We're still in the unconscious realm.
4. Type 6's strategy and tactics.
Now, with that in mind, we all have our strategy, right? The type is kind of like a strategy of how we gain the core need and avoid the core fear.
And the tactic is, how can we fulfill them. How can we fulfill the need and how to avoid our fear?
So the strategy is the same for everybody. The strategy is the desire to fulfill the need and the desire to avoid or the need to avoid our fear.
And the tactics is "how". How can I fulfill that need? How can I avoid that fear? And this changes from type to type.
So for type six, to be loved and to be safe, and to avoid being unable to cope, I must be prepared. I must create a safety net.
I must create the safety that I need because I can't fully trust anything. People, the world, anything.
Notice the word "fully". It's not that sixes never trust anybody in their life but there's always that doubt.
"Can I really trust him?"
"Can I really believe that this will happen according to the optimistic view of it?"
"Can I really trust that it will work out to my advantage?"
"Can I really go unprepared for this situation?"
There's always that doubt, even when they do trust.
And then, like all of us, eventually the ego brings up evidence of times when the ego was supposedly right. When people did disappoint you, when things didn't go according to your plan or your desire.
And then it uses that to reinforce your core belief: 'See, I told you! The world is unpredictable. People are unreliable.'
Obviously, the fault in that is that the ego only takes some evidence to support its claim and ignores all the things that debunk the claim, debunks the core belief.
5. Type 6's automatic focus of awareness.
So out of that core need, core fear, core belief and so on, comes the automatic focus of awareness.
And for type six, their automatic focus goes to possible problems:
Things going wrong, people's hidden agendas, all these things - because their belief is such that this is going to happen. So I might as well be on the look for it.
Again, this is automatic. We're not even aware that we're doing it. But it's kind of like we have this bodyguard with us and it will scan for threats.
And for type six, this is the threat. Problems, things going wrong, people having hidden agenda and so I can't trust them and so on and so on.
6. Type 6's automatic focus of actions.
The automatic focus of actions for type six is planning and preparing a safety net. Finding solutions to the problems the automatic focus of awareness foresees.
That's what their automatic actions would be. When you are kind of like an autopilot, unaware, that's like your automatic pattern of behavior.
Now it can be even small and simple daily stuff like over-preparing for a meeting that is not even really an important meeting and stuff like that - because it's a habit.
Or over-preparing to take your kid to the preschool today, and so on and so on and so on.
It's not just on the big things. And that's important because that's what makes it an automatic pattern of behavior.
Of course on the big, huge things, many of us would agree, maybe less so type seven, but they too, when they have done more work. I'm only half-joking...
But most of us would agree that with the big things, you want to come prepared. If it's a life or death situation, you want to be secure with the situation, you want to know what you're doing.
If it's a huge important meeting, you want to come prepared and so on and so on.
But the point is that because it's an automatic pattern of behavior, it happens even when it's unnecessary and it happens in the daily life, in the small things - not just when most of the people will agree that it is the right thing to do.
7. Type 6's self-image.
So moving on with that. If that's what's happening in my life, that's my core belief, core need core fear, my focus of awareness and actions, and all that -
My self-image would be that I am loyal (and we'll touch on the loyal part soon, I know it doesn't necessarily make sense right now), I am careful, I am prepared, I am dedicated, I'm hardworking, I'm dutiful (I said dutiful, not beautiful. Just in case it wasn't clear what I said.)
And it's also a time for me to introduce the counterphobic six, or the challenging six.
So unlike other types, with type six, there are two types of defense strategies here to an extent.
What I've been talking about until now is the classic six, the phobic six.
The counterphobic six are people of type six who have the same core belief, but they react to fear by going right at it, as opposed to avoiding it.
And they react to authority by defying it, by challenging it instead of obeying it and conforming to it like the phobic six tends to do.
The teaching used to be almost like we have two kinds of types - phobic and counterphobic in the type six.
Now it looks more and more like all sixes have that range, phobic and counterphobic, and some sixes spend more time in the phobic, some people spend more time in the counterphobic.
It's kind of similar to what I said in the introduction video about the nine rooms analogy.
So kind of like the same but with two rooms here, phobic and counterphobic.
Some sixes will be more here, some people will be more there, and of course, there's the range in the middle, too.
So when we're talking about counterphobic sixes' self-image, that would be different.
That would be I am provocative, I am rebellious, especially to people and authorities that I don't trust. I'm smart - I'm outsmarting the people and the authorities that I don't trust.
So you can see the difference here, even in the self-image.
8. Type 6's gifts (“healthy”/ balanced/ high level of development).
Now, as far as behaviors, as always we're going to talk about healthy or balanced behaviors and unhealthy or unbalanced behaviors of the type.
Type six are known to be very loyal. I can only dive so much into that in this video, but think of it this way:
It's a major part of how they prepare for dangers.
If the world is unpredictable and unsafe and unreliable, and so are people -
Then if I can find a person or an authority, organization or a group or whatever that I can find safety with, I want to be as loyal as I can to that person or to this group so that I'll keep together with them and enjoy the benefit of the safety that I get when I'm with them.
That's a sneak peek into the cause of why they're so loyal. And again, it goes to a healthy part and unhealthy part.
In the healthy part, they'll be loyal out of love and out of pure loyalty. But in the unhealthy part, it can come from the need for help, for safety.
And every gift overused becomes a problem. So they can be loyal to a fault, they can be loyal to people who are not really making sure that they're going to be safe.
They can be used by people like that. And that's a common thing that happens.
Either way, we see loyalty as a key behavior of sixes. And that's why I named type six the way I named it.
They are also good planners and great at risk management.
So if I can foresee problems, if I can foresee what might go wrong, if I can foresee disadvantages of a situation or a plan, if I can see dangers in any option or choice or situation - I can use that to become a really good planner.
I can foresee and deal with things that other people will either not see or play down.
Now, again, overused, I might bother too much about problems that are really tiny or have the tiniest chance of ever happening.
I might spend too much time and too many resources dealing with that.
And that's the other side. That's the shadow part of the healthy part of the six.
Because it's always the other side. When you overuse something, you overdo something, it becomes from a gift to a problem.
So that's another gift that they have. Again, if they don't overuse it.
Another thing we can see in the behavior of healthy sixes, they are also very good in planning solutions for these potential problems.
So I don't only see the problems - that's one skill; another skill is also to be able to find solutions to these problems.
Another thing we see of them is that they are very responsible and very reliable.
They are hardworking, they're dedicated, and again, especially to a cause or a person they believe in. It brings out the best of them in that sense. Part of their loyalty, too.
They are team players. They have dedication and loyalty to the community, to the group, to the family, company, country. It's very common to see them loyal.
Again, I might be a six that doesn't have loyalty to my group or my country, but I will have loyalty to some other people or groups.
So it's not that they have blind loyalty to everything and anyone, but they will have, usually, dedication, loyalty, they'll be team players, at least in some of the groups they belong to, or in relationships.
And relationships, of course, it's not just romantic. I'll be loyal to my friends, too.
They are very fair people, very caring people. They're sensitive to others. They're empathic. They're good friends.
And again, you can see that as an offshoot of being loyal.
It's not the only way that they're good friends, but that comes with the territory. I'm a loyal friend -that already makes me more prone to be a good friend in many other ways.
When the problem does occur, because they tend to foresee things in their mind and prepare, whether in their mind or in action, they're often well prepared.
And then they can actually go and take action when the problem is happening when many people are not.
So it's interesting to mention that because they have a reputation of being a more scared kind of type. There's some level of reason to that reputation.
But when things really happen, when things really do go wrong, they're one of those that are more likely to take action and deal with it.
So that's a beautiful thing to notice about them, especially if we're wanting to have compassion and debunk some myths and misperceptions about the types, because behind the types, there are people, right? We don't just want to ignore that.
They can be very playful and witty. Playful might seem surprising if you are thinking of them as people who are all the time afraid. But they're not all the time afraid.
They look and they find and they see automatically things that can go wrong and all that, but they are also not just that.
And that's something we need to remember about the Enneagram:
It's not like you've been put in a box and you take one attribute as dominant as it is and make that the entire thing. No.
First of all, you're not in a box. You're not a type, you're a person, and the type is a personality style or defense mechanism, call them what you want.
And go and watch the introduction video again, if you forget why I'm saying all that.
But also don't just pick on one part of it. And I'm saying that here because again, it's very common to think of sixes like that - people who are really afraid and even weak in that sense.
But they are not. They are very playful, they're very witty.
And they are oftentimes advocating for the disempowered. That is another beautiful aspect of them.
9. Type 6's shadows (“unhealthy”/ unbalanced/ lower levels of development).
Having said all that, like every other type, they too have their shadow, or unhealthy or unbalanced or lower level of development, part of the type, which is why we want to do work -
To move from the unbalanced or even the medium level into the healthy, balanced, high levels of development, part of the type.
Have more of the gifts and less of the problems.
One part of their shadow is that while I said that they're not all the time living only with fear and anxiety, they are indeed living with fear and anxiety a lot.
It's part of what happens when that's your core belief and that's your automatic focus of awareness, right? They're constantly scanning and preparing for worst-case scenarios.
Now, again, I didn't contradict what I said before. I'm just saying that they're not all the time there. They are playful many times.
But going back to what I'm saying now, one of my sixes, not one actually - many sixes that I coach, actually tell me after some time when we work on it and when we see the prices they pay and we connect with that part in them that lives in that fear and anxiety, they tell me, "It's not how I want it to be. I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to just scan and see how things can go wrong."
And that's another 'tell' about how it is an automatic pattern of behavior and automatic focus of awareness. They want to, but they can't help themselves because it goes as deep as the existential fear.
It happens because of their core fear and the core fear going so deep as the fear of death.
So understand that they want to be different in that sense but it's hard to do that because it's a compulsive mechanism like all the types. And that's again, why we need to do work if we want to grow.
In and of its own, the automatic pattern, the automatic pilot, the default program that we run will take us in a certain direction. If you want to go in another direction, you need to do work.
They can be too careful, and often they can avoid doing what they want or what they should do because of that, because of being too careful. They can have a hard time making decisions.
And even when the potential risk is super low, they can be too careful and not make a decision or not do what they want to do and just be going on the safe side.
And it leads to endless doubts and fears. And that can lead to anxiety and paralysis or not taking action.
And those endless doubts relate to the other part of the name I gave the six - the Doubting Loyal.
So, the inner mechanism is such that it constantly doubts because everything can go wrong and I can't trust the world and I can't trust people.
'Can I trust him? Should I trust him? Can I do that? Should I take that risk?'
Even once I made a decision, it's always going to be a constant doubt.
Even things that already happened can still be a doubt. 'Should I have done that? Was that the right thing to do?' And so on and so on.
With that said, if I was speaking about being too careful, what I was just saying now about the doubting, it is another thing about their shadow, which is constantly doubting people and success.
I have a client that is very successful and she says "It was just a fluke" - and not like in false humility. She was really thinking that.
A part of her knew that it's not that. But a part of her doubted her ability to keep succeeding or the fact that she is already successful because everything can go bad like that.
Everything can fall like that. All the success I've mastered so far, it can go away like that. That's the world, that's people.
So if I'm constantly doubting people and constantly doubting my chances of success and of things going well and I'm constantly looking for hidden agendas in people, I can have a hard time trusting and it's really hard to live like that.
It can get even to levels of being paranoid when we're talking lower levels of development.
Another shadow aspect is expecting others to give unreasonable amount of safety.
If I am loyal to you because I want the safety that I believe I will get from you, I'm also undermining my ability to create safety for myself.
And I'm expecting you to give me all the safety in the world and even a level of safety that Superman can't give you because life is dangerous in some level or another, right? Things will happen.
You can't have 100% safety. So again, it all depends on how low they go in their levels of development.
But they can get to a level of expecting others to give them unreasonable amount of safety.
Unreasonable, both because that's not the person's job and unreasonable because nobody can ever give you that. It depends how long you go.
They tend to constantly live in the future because they're analyzing and contemplating potential threats. It's not the threat that is happening now.
It's like how things can go wrong, how people might disappoint me and so on and so on. So that is not being here and now that is being in the future, and that has its price too.
They have hard time taking risks, obviously, and a lot of missed opportunities and a lot of fun adventures are not happening for them.
They're missing out and kind of like the opposite of type seven. I'm giving you a little bit 'tell' for the next video, but that's sixes in that sense.
Now, again, if you're a counterphobic six or the more counterphobic you are, that might be less relevant to you, this specific thing.
You might be taking too many risks. You might be challenging life too far, but not from a seven-ish point of view, but just from a sense of my way to handle the fear is to just do it.
Think of a bungee jump:
If I'm standing on the ledge of the bungee jumping the phobic six might take an hour until it jumps, if at all, and the counterphobic six will just,' okay, I feel the fear? Boom!'
Not even waiting for whatever. Well, probably they are waiting to be safely harnessed. But you know what I'm saying.
They have a tendency to obey the rules, even when it's not a good thing.
Again, the more you're a counterphobic six, that might be less your thing, but you might be just going against the rule even when that's not a good thing, as a means of dealing with fear.
So taking it to the other extreme is also unhealthy. That's what I'm saying.
They can see the bad scenarios first, and by that they might ignore the good ones. And that affects their decisions, that affects their lives.
If I'm not taking into consideration the good scenarios, the good possibilities, the way things can go well, I'll certainly make different decisions than when I consider both options.
They can be experienced as paranoid, as over pessimistic - even though they think they are realistic, they can be experienced as over pessimistic - and sometimes they are.
They can be experienced as too skeptic, as tedious and as too worried or even wayyyyy too worried.
And they can be over obedient in order to not make decisions.
They can avoid taking personal responsibility and give in to that false sense of safety that they seem to be getting from being obedient and that's obedient in a group or obedient to a person.
And again, if you're counterphobic take it to the other extreme - so they can be not conforming or obedient enough to a fault.
They can put themselves in real danger just because of that automatic pattern of going right at it.
10. Famous 6's.
So with that in mind, when I'm talking about famous people here, I'll be talking about two kinds of people - because there's going to be famous phobic sixes and famous counterphobic sixes.
And again, as always I'll say, these are not people I sat down with one on one and had a good conversation with so I can't guarantee that they are sixes.
We're talking the energy or how they're experienced externally. They might likely be sixes. All right?
So the phobic sixes, you would see people like Woody Allen, Richard Nixon, George Bush Sr., Marilyn Monroe, Larry David, if you've seen "Curb your enthusiasm", and George Costanza, which supposedly is Larry David's version of himself to a degree in Seinfeld.
Larry David was cowriting Seinfeld, so when I said Larry David, it's both Larry David in curb your enthusiasm, and probably Larry David the person, and George Costanza, there are probably three iterations of the same person according to Larry David.
Counterphobic six will include people like David Letterman, Spike Lee, Krishnamurti the spiritual teacher, Michael Moore, Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts.
You see here more people who are kind of pushing back on authority - Spike Lee, Krishnamurti, Michael Moore and so on and so on. So that's a good example of people who might, or probably are, counterphobic sixes.
11. Metaphors to their world.
When we're speaking about famous people as a way to understand sixes (or any other type), even a better way, in my opinion, is metaphors.
Because we don't really know these people. So there are characters in movies and TV shows, which to me, is a closer step to real or a better understanding than talking about a person that we don't really know that well. We only know the Republic image.
But another step forward with that is metaphors.
So one metaphor is being alone in a dark alley. Everything feels dangerous, even if it isn't.
I'm alone in the dark alley and my mind starts seeing things or hearing things or giving an interpretation to what I see and hear.
And that interpretation is not necessarily true. And it's more likely than not to be interpretation of something spooky and scary.
So I'm in that dark alley and I'm on the lookout for attacks and threats, and I'm in this more sense of stress and danger and anxiety mode.
And that's why I love this analogy. And that's why I think it's better than speaking about a specific person, especially since we can't know the person really all the way in.
Another metaphor is that of an obedient soldier: He does what his commander says. He doesn't doubt the commander's decision, doesn't define the authority - again, unless you're a counterphobic six. And they are loyal.
And in return, they get the protection of being part of that group, part of the army, a soldier in the army.
Another metaphor is a landmines field. It's dangerous to even take a step. It's dangerous to move. Any step can be the end of you.
And that's another way that sixes sometimes can feel about the world.
And if you think I'm exaggerating, understand I'm exaggerating to a degree. All these core fears and core beliefs, they all go all the way down to our sense of existence and safety in the world.
So it really does trigger fears of death. It really goes all the way there.
Of course, sixes don't really think that every step they're going to make in the world will be the end of them. But that's why I'm saying I'm partly exaggerating, but partly not.
Another metaphor is living in a country with a secret police. If you remember USSR, Soviet Union of the past, some other countries of nowadays, you can't trust anyone.
Anyone can be part of the secret police. Anyone can snitch on you. Anyone can cause you harm. Anyone can disappoint you. You can't trust anyone, let alone authorities.
And another one is living in a war zone where a war is happening. So anything can happen in any single moment, a minute from now a stray bullet or a bomb might find a way into your living room.
And you notice these are all a lot of danger-oriented metaphors, very pessimistic metaphors. But these are metaphors to the lives of six or to the minds of six.
And if you understand these metaphors, you'll be able to understand better why they behave in certain ways.
And when we use that in the beautiful way that the Enneagram allows us, it helps us have more compassion to the sides we don't like so much about sixes or if you are six - about ourselves.
It's not without reason that all this is happening. It's a result of their core belief, core fear, core need and so on and so on and so on, just like any other type.
So the Enneagram is beautiful in the sense that it can help us have compassion to others and ourselves.
And it helps us also change our lives. So we can use all that in order to make real, practical, long-term changes in our lives.
12. The prices type 6 pay for their strategy (/automatic patterns of behavior).
Another thing that helps us make changes in our life is when we are actually seeing and experiencing the prices that we pay for these tactics. The prices that we pay for our personality type or our defense strategy, or call it whatever you want.
So one obvious price is a life of fear and anxiety and stress and doubting everyone and everything and themselves.
Because above all, they learn to doubt themselves.
That's a big price. Imagine going around the world like that. It's not easy. It's not just I'm looking for dangers. It's also my self-image, my self-value, and how I relate to people, how I interact with people.
It's hard to live like that in a constant state of fear and anxiety.
And again, it's not all their life, but we're talking about habitual patterns, we're talking about habitual states, what's happening a lot in their life, not just a little bit. More than most of us.
Again, go back to the metaphors, that will help you understand.
So doubting the universe and people and authority figures and organizations and methods and most of all, doubting themselves.
We said before, and I'll say it again, doubting every decision, every decision they take. And decisions they're about to take and decisions they took.
And they experience the fear in their body, too. So it's not just in my mind, I can also feel it in my body. And that's another added layer of a price that I'm paying for my strategy.
Like a coaching client of mine said, "I'd much rather live in trust, not in fear." Again, they do want to do it differently. Again, like all the types when they see the prices.
But we don't know how in the case of six or that client, she didn't know how to live in trust rather than fear.
That's one of the things I'm working with on sixes once they see the prices that they pay for the strategy.
It's an automatic pattern that runs everything. So it's really hard, even if I want to be different, it's really hard to actually be different even more so over time.
Another price that they pay is that they're in constant need and search for certainty and safety.
Now, again, it's more than most of us. We all want safety. We all have some level of issues with the unknown and uncertainty. Actually a lot of an issue with that. But they are even more so.
A lot of resources like money, time, energy, go to creating a safety net and preparing for potential hazards and big and small problems and real problems and imagined problems.
And that's a 'tell' about the difference between them and us. Many of us will do that when it's big problems or when it's real problems.
With them, it's also with the small problems consistently - not just once in a long while I'll deal with a small problem and overdo it.
And not just once in a long while, I'll deal with an imagined problem. No, for them, it's a constant thing.
And the extent that they go to deal with it, again, going back to resources too, time and money and energy and sanity, if you want to look at sanity as a resource.
So some of the prices that we can see -
I hear from my clients, when they're talking about their over-preparing and when they're looking at the prices they pay like constant fatigue, losing their sanity, losing time with their family, losing work time, bad business decisions, not living and working according to priorities, zero time and energy left for self-care and so on and so on.
So you can see that the strategy goes through every part of your life, but also the prices, right? The gifts and the prices are everywhere in your life.
And that's why it's so important, again, to do the work. Unless you don't want to have a happier, better life, and that's okay.
Another price they pay is that their expectations of safety from others, not only that they can get too much, like I said before, they can get them dependent and stuck.
If I'm expecting you to provide safety for me, that means I might get dependent on you and I might get stuck being super close to you just so I can have that safety.
They will never be 100% free from their tendency to worry - unless maybe if they are enlightened, and that's a price to pay.
But they can work on it and they can manage it instead of it managing them. It doesn't have to control your life. You can control that and you can use the gifts and have less of the problems of the type.
They do focus on the danger mostly. And so a lot of opportunities for fun adventures and success and fulfilling your dreams and all that - they don't even try to take them or they quit too early.
Because my mind doesn't see how it can go well. So I just stay at home. And again, very much the opposite of seven.
As one of my clients said, "my desire is to trust even when it feels unsafe." And that was a beautiful moment in her evolution. To see that, feel that and admit it and claim it like that.
And to add, not just "I want to trust" - I want to trust even when it feels unsafe? You know you got something there.
Their doubts and fears can lead to paralysis and not taking action and not making decisions. That's another price we touched upon before.
12. Common things they ask to be coached about.
So with that, I'll lead to common things that they come to work on when they come to coaching sessions.
So one of the main things is the ongoing state of anxiety and fear and stress.
At some point they see, "Okay, I don't have to live like that, it's too daunting, it's too much, I want to change that."
They have a hard time making decisions, even the very small stuff. They have endless deliberations and hesitations that can lead to not taking action.
Feeling unsafe, lack of confidence.
Planning a ton and achieving very little.
Jealousy of other people's sense of safety and flexibility and confidence and spontaneity.
That's another thing that they can come to work on. And that's beautiful. That's a good part of jealousy because that's jealousy that can lead to inspiration. I'm inspired in that sense.
I can stay jealous but if I come to work on that, that means I'm inspired to change and be more like that. That's a beautiful flip side of jealousy.
Another thing they come to work on is they have a hard time handling challenges, and they want to deal with challenges better. And life is full of challenges, especially when you're six you tend to see more challenges so even more so.
And that lack of sense of peace and that sense of constant unrest, and restlessness, an inner voice there that is denying peace of any sort, denying the ability to just rest and be.
Because if I'm in a danger zone, if I'm in a war zone or a dark alley or whatever, I can't just be at peace. I can't be at rest. That won't work, especially when we're talking about the defense and safety mechanism.
So that's another thing they want to work on. In their words, it would be more "I can't have peace, I can't rest." It's not so much, "Oh, I'm a six, and I'm afraid in the dark alley."
But that's part of the art of being an Enneagram coach: understanding what's happening and where it's coming from, and what's going on, and how I can use the Enneagram map in order to serve the person I'm working with.
13. Type 6's ultimate mission for growth & happiness.
And speaking of serving them, the ultimate mission for growth and happiness for type six is to trust themselves, others, and life and to be at peace with uncertainty and the unknown.
Now notice the part of trusting themselves, which is very important, and even more so if you go back again to the loyalty to wrong people or over loyalty. Instead of being stuck with that, I can learn to trust myself.
So another aspect of the ultimate mission of growth and happiness for sixes is the understanding, but really ingraining the understanding, that you don't have to have certainty and you don't have to be prepared and you don't have to be a part of a group or a relationship in order to be safe and loved.
And with that, my dear friends, I will end this one, which is pretty long but still only an introduction to the type six.
We go way deeper there and we discuss other things as well, like the way the type creates the "reality" that aligns with their belief - and I'm not talking about manifesting good things, stuff like that.
More like how do I do it to myself? The problems, the situation, the pain, the suffering. And it changes from type to type.
The traps of the type, the paradox of the type, the turning point for type six, the change of focus that sixes needs to go through, the keys for growth which is different than the ultimate mission for growth.
Wings, arrows and exercises and tritypes and instincts and centers and levels of development and so on and so on.
I hope to see you there and I hope you enjoyed this video.
I hope it was beneficial to you whether you are six or you know sixes in your life.
Or you are a coach or a therapist that works with people, and in this case sixes, and want to have better tools and another layer of understanding of why they are the way they are.
And let's discuss this either here in the comments or on social media. You can find me in Better Life Awareness or Eldad Ben-Moshe, and let's have a ball.
If you are curious, let's talk about it.
You can share some comments, write me an email, or even join E-School, our Enneagram school at betterlifeawareness.com/eschool.
- we'll be happy to see you there.
I hope you had a beautiful time with me today.
I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day. Love you lots. Bye for now.
To your better life,
with tons of 💖
Founder, Teacher, and Coach
Better Life Awareness Center