Dealing with emotional pain: The farmer that never knewFeb 03, 2020
(By Eldad Ben-Moshe ✨ Reading Time: 3 minutes)
Loved ones ❤
Emotional pain is tough to handle sometimes, isn’t it?
Life contains suffering and sadness alongside joy and pleasure.
In a world of duality, it's an inevitable part of the music of life.
How do you deal with emotional pain?
How do you cope with the ‘downs’ of life?
If you feel the pain, know that you’re not alone.
I see it all around me -
in my own life, in the lives of my friends and family,
and in the lives of my clients,
who seek my help in my courses and coaching sessions.
There isn’t any human on this planet that doesn’t experience hard times,
times of emotional pain - big and small.
It’s part of the human experience.
But we can learn how to handle it, rather than let pain control our lives.
That’s what I do - both in my personal life and in my professional life.
And in this article, I’m going to share one simple yet very powerful way to do that.
The following story is one of my favorites because it’s simple,
accurate, and super helpful in dealing with our emotional pain.
Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who lived in a small village.
One day his only horse ran away.
Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.
“Such bad luck!” they said sympathetically.
“You never know,” the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned,
bringing with it three other wild horses.
“How wonderful!” the neighbors exclaimed.
“You never know,” replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses,
but the horse wastoo wild for him.
The son was thrown off the horse and broke his leg.
The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy for his misfortune.
“That’s so sad!” they said.
“You never know,” answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to draft all the young men
in the village to fight in the war.
Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they did not draft him
The neighbors came again, saying, “you are so lucky!”
“You never know,” said the farmer...
Just like the farmer, you never know.
The questions are, are you willing to admit that,
and will you remember that?
If we're honest and acknowledge that we can never know how things will unfold,
we can be truly open-minded and therefore peaceful, less resistant, and happier -
just like the farmer from the story.
Good fortune and bad fortune are only our judgment on what happens.
We think we know what’s good and what’s bad,
and we hold on to the stories that arise in our mind
(‘it’s so bad that this happened…’, or ‘you’re so lucky!’)
But since we never know how things will unfold,
our judgment is many times inaccurate.
Perhaps even most of the time, if we’re honest about it...
Just like the neighbors in the story,
our mind judges and jumps to conclusions.
How can we judge correctly if we don’t know how things will unfold?
It’s just a guess really, not a rational, reliable, or wise conclusion.
But we take this guess seriously.
In doing that, we get swept into the drama that our mind creates,
and we let it make us sad, afraid, etc.,
even if in reality what happened turned out to be a ‘good’ thing
(like the horse running away and the son breaking his leg).
If you learn to understand how your mind works,
you can easily see that you do not react to what happened.
You react to what you think about what happened.
If you get this and remember this,
this simple yet powerful truth will completely transform your life.
🎁 To learn more about the causes of happiness and suffering from
a psychological and spiritual perspective,
and to get a practical 4 step system for dealing with pain and suffering,
Click here to download The Ultimate Guide to B-AIR(™) For Free. 🎁
Practical Actionable Steps - From Information to Transformation:
So what can we do instead?
While doing your best to deal with any situation that comes up,
remind yourself and admit that you don’t know how things will unfold,
keep breathing in spite of your ego’s judgments,
put your assumptions and judgments aside,
and let life unfold.
Notice that I'm not saying to sit and do nothing.
I am saying 'deal with the situation, but deal with your mindset as well'.
Do your best, and at the same time remember that you do not know,
and leave room for the unknown, leave space for life to do its thing.
If this sounds easy and obvious,
just wait until the next time that your mind and its judgments take over
and control the way you react… 😉
It’s a process.
It takes willingness and work.
But it brings real and life-changing results.
As our motto in Better Life Awareness Center goes:
Learn -> Practice -> Experience -> Transform™.
To your better life,
with tons of 💖
Founder, Teacher, and Coach
Better Life Awareness Center
Life is a journey of learning together, learning from each other.
You don’t have to do it alone.
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or by sending me a message via our chat icon or our ‘contact us’ form.
I love hearing what you think and answering your questions.