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Why are we sad and unhappy? (The nun, the pizza and the causes of suffering)

b-air better life tips fear happiness mindfulness painful emotions stress suffering Aug 23, 2021
Why are we sad and unhappy?

(By Eldad Ben-Moshe âś¨ Reading Time: 5 minutes)

❤ Hey there Better Lifers!


It seems like recently,
every birthday of mine comes with a drama…

In 2019 I was hospitalized.

In 2020 we were evacuated and ran away from the fires.

And this year…


I’ll tell you in a minute.

But before that, I want to go back to 2004,



When I met a swiss Buddhist nun in the Himalayas of India…

I was in training in a Tibetian Buddhist center,
and the one thing I remember to this day is when she spoke about…


Well, not exactly.
She used Pizza to deliver a much more important point:

While some people on the spiritual/growth path think we need to be empty of thoughts and desires...

The fact is that we all have thoughts, and we all have desires.
We all have desires and wants and wishes, and that’s perfectly fine.

“The problem is not that we want pizza,” she said…

“The problem is what do you do when you want pizza,
you walk all the way to the pizza place...

And the pizza place is closed?

How do you react then?
What are your thoughts and feelings then?”

Why do we suffer?
Why are we sad and unhappy?

Now, of course,

It’s more about bigger, more important things in life.

What do you think,

How do you feel,
How do you act,
When the things you want and even work hard for…

Don’t happen.
You didn't achieve them.
They get canceled.
“The pizza place is closed.”

You see, my friend,

You only suffer when you want things to be different than they are,
and you are attached to that desire.

And since fear is future-oriented, the equivalent is this:

You are only afraid that things will be different than you want them to be, and only as long as you’re attached to how you desire them to be.

Try it.


Check me.

Think of things that make/made you sad, unhappy, stressed, anxious, afraid… 

And you’ll see for yourself.

You only suffer when you want things to be different than they are,
and you are attached to that desire.

Did you find an exception?

Use the chat icon on the bottom right corner and send me a message straight away.
Don’t forget to leave your name and email so that I could reply.

Of the many people and coaching clients I’m in touch with,
you’ll be the 1st one ever to have found an exception,
so I want to hear all about it and check it out.

You only suffer when you want things to be different than they are,

and you are attached to that desire.

That’s the reason we’re unhappy, upset, sad, angry, etc.
That’s the only real reason for suffering.

How can we overcome suffering such as sadness, fear, anger, stress and emotional pain?

Now, what’s that got to do with my birthday, you ask?

Great question.


I reserved the same camping spot on the lake that we loved so much on my 2019 birthday.

This time I was way smarter -
I booked 4 days, 3 nights.

Again, I lucked out and got a gorgeous spot right on the water.

Perfect location,
and perfect timing too - 

I never speak of this, 
but I work so hard,
and so much.

I love my business,
but being an entrepreneur is certainly not the path of least resistance…

The rest of the time I’m usually spending with my amazing, incredible boy -
which is the best use of time I can think of
(together with spiritual and psychological awakening practices).

But he’s a toddler, and as toddlers go…

It’s not easy.


Quote by @itsPKav

So what I’m saying is that I really needed this nature-camping vacation.

I needed this time off.

But then…

The pizza place closed.

The party was canceled - again.
Just like it did in 2019 and 2020.

This time, while the fires are not near us and we’re not evacuated,

the smoke from fires in other places makes the air here so bad that camping sounds like a terrible idea.

I mean, breathing clean air is part of the fun of the experience….


What do you do when the pizza place is closed?

In this case,

What do you do when a long-awaited birthday camping trip on the lake becomes a terrible idea?

What do you do when your oh-so-needed vacation gets canceled? 

What do you think?
How do you feel?
How do you act?

Here's what I do,
and what I strongly suggest to anyone, anywhere, in any situation:

I use everything for practice,
for spiritual and psychological awakening,
for growth.

For being able to deal with life in an effective, mindful, healthy way,

That makes life’s events irrelevant to my happiness or suffering.

It all comes back to me - my beliefs, my decisions, my choices, my responses.

My response-ability.

I found
the B-AIR system incredibly useful with that,
As do so many of my coaching clients.

You can download it for free here.

Of course,
There are much worse things in life.

It’s a small (ok, medium) example, but all examples are great for practice.
Just like the pizza place being closed.

Just like when you're practicing weight lifting in a gym, practice life-stuff handling in your mental gym known as your mind, thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions.

Do it on the small-medium stuff so that you’ll be able to handle the big stuff better when they come.

And they will come.
They always do.

Practical Actionable Steps - From Information to Transformation:

  1. Download the B-AIR™ guide here (free download).

  2. Read it.

  3. Implement.

    Yes, this guide is so good that even reading will give you a nice push forward.

    But putting the system into practice will bring a giant leap in your ability to handle life’s unpleasant events.

    Learn-> Practice-> Experience-> Transform.

    You must practice to experience transformation.

    Use everything that happens in life for practice.
    Practice makes progress.

  4. Share your experience with me.

    I love communicating with our community (and anyone who takes the time to read my posts).

    If you didn’t like the guide,  perhaps I can improve it with your feedback.

    If you did like it,
    like so many people do,

    you’ll be making me extremely happy by sharing that with me,
    and perhaps you’ll even be joining others who are happy to tell everyone in public how good this guide is.

The reason they want to have these public testimonials is so that others like you,
who are hesitant to try or think “great, here’s just ANOTHER guide”?

Will know that the B-AIR™ system...

Is a real game-changing system that actually works.


To your better life,
with tons of đź’–

Eldad Ben-Moshe
Founder, Teacher, and Coach
Better Life Awareness Center         




Life is a journey of learning together, learning from each other.
You don’t have to do it alone.

Share your thoughts and questions with me by leaving your comments on this page or sending me a message via our chat icon or our contact us form. 

I love hearing what you think and answering your questions.