The one thing growth really cares about - And the two "crazy" decisions I just made, at age 49

By Eldad Ben-Moshe ✨ Reading Time: 3 minutes

In the last few weeks, at 49, I made two decisions that some people might call crazy.
Or "too late."

But I call them liberating.

Decision #1: I'm going back to university to pursue a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Four years. A significant financial investment. Countless hours of study while running my coaching practice.

Why?
Because I want to help my clients even better.
I want to work with people facing even more types of challenges and crises.
And I want to extend my reach to help kids and teens navigate their struggles, too.

Decision #2: I walked into the jiu-jitsu dojo where my son trains and tied on a white belt for the first time in my life. At 49, I started practicing Jiu-Jitsu.

Here's the thing that is not discussed enough about getting older:

We start believing that our time for "new beginnings" has passed.

That transformation is for the young.

That we should stay in our lane, perfect what we already know (sounds good, right?), and accept the limits of who we've become.

But...

That's just fear talking.

The Cost of Playing It Safe

You know what really hit me as I was making these decisions?

I've spent years helping executives and entrepreneurs transform their crises into sustainable success.

I've guided people through divorces, career transitions, and personal breakdowns that felt like the end of the world.

And do you know what one of the biggest, most common obstacles is?

It's not lack of ability. It's not circumstances.
It's not even timing.

It's the belief that growth has an expiration date.

🛑 Don't write this off as "not me" too quickly.

Most people don't usually think like that.
But when the time comes to make hard decisions, to grow, to take a bold step into the unknown...

They see that belief in their way.

When I decided to pursue this master's degree, I had to confront my own version of that belief.

Four more years of school?
At my age?


The late nights studying.
The financial investment.
The juggling of responsibilities.

And as for my 2nd decision?
No lack of reasons not to choose that one, too.

Rigorous jiu jitsu training 3 times a week.

Physical pain on a body that's in good shape, but still, getting older, and hits hurt more than they ever used to.

While I do 1 on 1 techniques with people half my age and teenagers,  not kids, there are also kids as young as 6 years old correcting my techniques.

My son seeing me as a total beginner, making tons of mistakes - not the Superman he's used to seeing (Don't read this wrong. I don't pretend to be Superman, I tell him when I make mistakes so that he'll be comfortable when he makes his, etc. The reason he sees me as a superman is partly because of the way kids look up to their parents, and partly because of how much I do for him and how I do it - but not because I pretend to be one.)

What do I need this for?

But then I asked myself the question I ask my clients:

If you are successful in your career, but you limit your ability to serve, to grow, to become more - is that really living up to your potential?

The answer was clear.

Both the master's degree and the jiu-jitsu training will allow me to help my clients even better:

To help families heal, to support couples in crisis, to guide teenagers through the challenges that shape their entire lives, and to help existing and new coaching clients, courses clients, followers, and readers.

How could I NOT pursue that, regardless of my age or the inconvenience?

The Gift of the White Belt

And then there's jiu-jitsu.

Picture this: walking into a dojo where my son trains, surrounded by people who've been practicing for years.
Being the oldest person on the mat.
Getting thrown repeatedly by practitioners half my age in front of my son.

It's humbling.
It's uncomfortable.
And honestly?

It's one of the most powerful things I've done in years.
Because here's what the white belt teaches you:

True strength isn't about always being the expert.
It's about having the courage to be the beginner when it's time to do that AGAIN.

And again.

And again.

For as long as you want to keep growing.
For as long as you want to really be alive.

Every time I step onto that mat, I'm reminded that mastery is a journey, not a destination.
A journey that has no finish line.

I'm also reminded that growth requires vulnerability.
That there's profound beauty - and fun, excitement, and aliveness - in saying, "I don't know, but I'm willing to do what it takes to learn."

Plus, there's something special about training alongside my son.

 
I'm not just telling him about the value of persistence and growth - I'm living it right next to him, both of us learning, both of us struggling, both of us getting a little better each day.

As A Course in Miracles says - 
We teach by example.
But only always.

What If The Problem Isn't the Problem?

I've worked with enough high-achievers to know this: the fear of starting over isn't really about age. It's about ego.

We fear looking foolish.
We fear being, and feeling, incompetent.

We fear that beginning something new somehow diminishes everything we've already accomplished.

We fear being uncomfortable.

But what if the opposite is true?

What if your willingness to become a beginner again is actually the highest expression of your success?

What if the ability to take on that new adventure is a sign of wisdom, not weakness?

The One Thing Growth Really Cares About

So here's what I want you to know:

You are not too old to change directions - or to add something big onto your current direction.
You are not too established to start fresh.
You are not too successful - or unsuccessful - to become a student again.

Whatever that thing is - the degree you've been putting off, the hobby you've always wanted to try, the skill you've been afraid to develop, the dream you think you've aged out of - you haven't.

Your age is not your limitation.
Your willingness is your only requirement.

At 49, I'm doing school homework again.
I'm getting thrown on jiu-jitsu mats.
And I'm delighted that I'm doing all that.

Because growth doesn't care about your age.

It only cares about your answer to this question:

Are you willing to be a beginner again? Are you choosing from Love or from fear?

So What About You?

What have you been putting off because you think it's "too late"?

What white belt have you been too proud to tie on?

What version of yourself are you afraid to become because it means admitting you're not there yet?

I can tell you from both sides -

as someone who's made these decisions and as someone who's helped many clients through their transformations,
that the discomfort of being a beginner is temporary.

But the regret of never starting?
That lasts forever.

Life can be hard.
But it doesn't have to be lived in the safe, small spaces we retreat to when we're afraid.

Real change IS possible.
At 49. At 59. At 69.

At any age where you still have breath in your lungs and a willingness in your heart.

I'm betting on myself at 49.
I'm betting that I can grow, learn, transform, and become more capable of serving the people who need me.

What are you betting on?